I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. And of course you don't have to answer it. You really shouldn't answer it, but I have to ask anyway."'Oh, dearest Tom, ' I thought, 'I can't stand to see you in so much pain. Ask anything, anything at all, and I'll gladly answer.'"Last night," he whispered, "was the fourth night I've been a guest in your home, and I heard something in the night that I hadn't heard before. It sounded like you and Paul were making love. Is that true?" Yes, Tom, it's true. I was afraid you might hear us, and I almost told Paul we shouldn't, but then I realized I couldn't say that." You mean, because Paul would guess why, and become angry at me because I was destroying the most intimate part of your marriage?"I just nodded, ashamed, but incredibly aroused that we would be having this conversation."Don't you see, Bev, I need to leave. I can't do that to you." No, Tom, please don't leave! I don't think I could stand it."Tears sprang from my eyes and I reached. Not that there's anything wrong with it.It's just I didn't want to 'act' like a queer. I was just me. Attractedto guys, and having NO interest in girls. I never really hooked up with a guy before and I guess I consideredmyself NON SEXUAL. I was shy or scared to admit I was gay. But eversince I was 17 years of age I preferred hanging around boys that were ayear or two younger than I. At 25, I still enjoyed being with youngerguys, around the age of 18, 19 or 20. As I turned 30, my attraction wasfor 22 - 23 year old boys. Now at 44, I made certain to involve myselfin activities that involved 20-25 year old guys. My attraction seemed toremain on hold for this age group of guys. I played poker at the localpubs, I hung out at dance clubs, attended concerts at the local collegeand I even joined a gym where I knew most of the patrons were in their20's. But again, there was nothing sexual about this. I didn't come onto any of the guys, I just liked to look.There is something about a guy in.
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